Letters from a Maine Soldier - Part 2 - "I Sometimes Think I Ought to Have Staid at Home..."

This letter from Nelson Jones to his parents occurs about a week after the first letter he sent home. The short war thought to end at one great battle near Manassas, Virginia turned to a Confederate rout, with many of the Union troops in full retreat to Washington, D.C. Weeks afterward, blame was thrown around, and General Irwin McDowell was removed from command. Morale was low in the ranks, and Jones' letter reflects that general despondency. Many of the letters found in National Archives pension files, involves soldiers' pay being sent home to support his family. Thirteen dollars a month, a private's pay, was good money for many of the new recruits who had some from urban slums or as in Jones' case, a rural farming town. As before, I have used minimal editing to preserve the style and syntax of Jones' original letter.

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Clermont  Alexandria  Virginia August 7 1861

 

Dear parents I seat myself down this morning

to write you a few lines to let you know I am

well and hope and trust these few lines will

find you the same.  I have not rec’d any letter

from home for some time but look for one every

day and I guess I shall look in vain. I wrote several

home since I have been here and have rec’d know

answer from them. I wrote one about the 26 of July

and enclosed five dollars in it to mother and sent

it about the 27 but I am afraid it got lost or some

thing or I should have rec’d an answer from it

before this time but perhaps it laid in the

office some time but before you got it. I hope you

got it fast I suppose you nead it worse then

I did it was main money that I swaped gold

for and I shall be sorry if it is lost but

mother don’t say nothing nor say you are sorry

for when I am paid of again I will send you

ten in the ____ of five and I shall be paid

of in about a fortnight or three weeks but

I was going to send that to father and I guess

I shall as it is for I suppose he would like to

have something to encourage him a little 5 dollars

or so and I will send it to you when I get it mother

I should like to see you very mutch to day and father

and all the rest of my folks oh. I should like to

be at home a few days this hot weather and see all

of my friends and folks that I used to love and

respect but I guess it will be some time first

fall I guess and not before but I am in hopes

to get a furlow for two months this fall if I can

so I can help you about your falls work and

help eat apples, and so forth I don’t know as

I can but it is so lonsome here that I do wish

I was at home or some where else for a spell but

I don’t wory any only I am afraid you will get

out of health doing your work alone I sometimes

think I ought to have staid at home and helped

you instead of inlisting and come out here to

fight and be run to death as we were at bulls

run there were more beat out and now are sick

in the hospital then there was killed in that fight

this reg is over half sick I guess or near that I guess

it don’t look mutch as they did in augusta. I

tell you there they were a fine healthy looking set

of men as you generaly see

but now they are scrimping around and look pale

as a piss a bed there has a good many gone home

out of this reg privates and all there has amost all of our

officers gone some companies aint got any officers every

one has resigned and gone home our company has not

got many lieutenants for they have got their discharg

and left but Capt lakeman aint gone and says he

wont till his company goes but the most of them would

like to go well enough if they could. Col’l howard

says they cant hold us but three months from the time

we were sworn in at meridian hill in Washington and that

was the 27 of june but I don’t know nor I dont mutch care

whitch way it goes I suppose I might as well be here as any

where but I dont like the plan of being run double

quick 7 or 8 miles when it was hot enough to roast

eggs out dores I am willing to fight any time but I

aint willing to be run to death and then have to

Come in sight of a battery to fight them with an old

musket as we were at bull run there was two batteries in

plain sight playing when us and our artilery was laying

still without any amunitions to fight with but when

 there is another attack made it will be in different style

then it was be fore that so or I will not fight but they

are going to take 200 00000 two hundred thousand men next

time and cannons to match them to there is going to be eighty

mortar cannons to throw hot tar in among their batteries and

forts to burn them  out and throw into the woods to set them

on fire Gen Skott says it was against his will to run men to death

as thy were run but he will bring it out all wright in the end

I think. father please write me how your health is and if it is hard

work for you to do the work all alone and if you can do your falls work

without hired help if you cant I will try and help you all I cane

towards your work.  I have not got know letter from you for some

time I dont know but you are sick or some of the family if so let me

know it and I will send some more money if I can hire it I almost wish

I had not enlisted sometimes and others times I do b__ aint agoing

to be sorry for anything I do out here I suppose you will think I am

homesick but you are mistaken for I aint but the same time I

should like to be at home a spell through the hot weather for it

is pretty warm through this month and next to the Virginians

say but I stand it well I was up to fast elswar the last friday

afternoon and saw a man hung, he shot a woman in cold blood

 and the he was hung for it as an example for all other bad

people or men like himself he belonged to the new hampshire

2 regiment and was a reckless fellow and was hated by all

who knew him I will close pretty soon by requesting you to write as

soon as you get this and write and let me know if you want some

help this fall and all the news Please write if the graps are good

and if apples is good crops this year tell silas I wrote a letter to

him a few days ago give my love to all hands and also to anson

and Lydia and Amelia and west Silas and mary, and all hands

Mother please write if you got that money but if you aint dont

go a man was arrested in new york the other days for Robbing the

mail and on searching him 3 three hundred dollars was found

on him and a berrel of letter he will be sent to state prison

for life if not hung he ought to be skun alive the miserable ____

I will close by requesting you to write or rec’d this letter and

for I want to hear to hear from you very fast Please Direct to Washington

D.C. 3^rd Reg Company I Maine Volunteers From

your Son Nelson W Jones to my folks in maine

 Source: Nelson W. Jones Pension File, WC 19616, National Archives